A lunch break blogger, just writing to hear herself talk.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Chivalry Gone Wrong

My Mel and I were talking about awkward chivalry this morning. She was saying that she's not a fan of the 'ladies on the elevator first' move. While I don't mind this one as much (although the first few times I felt a little like they were wanting me to test out the integrity of the hydraulics holding the elevator up) but I understand what she's talking about. Sometimes it's an awkward inconvenience that could have been avoided if the dude just evaluated the situation and was like, 'actually, I'm kind of in the way this time. It would be easier for her to get on the elevator if I just got in first and THEN held the door open'. "Courtesy" in general can get awkward real fast if you're not careful.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not some feminist that hates chivalry. Not even close. I still get butterflies when D opens my car door for me and I'll yank a teenager by his ear if he doesn't give up his seat for an older person in a waiting room. But there are a few niceties that we as a human race need to agree are officially too much.
  • Mel would like a ban on the 'Ladies First Always' elevator hold.

Hahahahaha I'm going to start giving her photo assignments more often! These are hilarious.
  • I personally would like a society agreement that 10 feet is the maximum door-holding distance.
  • Never have I preferred a term of endearment in the workplace over my own name. Not that it really gets under my skin, but it almost always catches me a little off-guard. Unless you are over the age of 70 and then I can't help it. You can call me "sweetie" or "hun" all day and I'll eat that up.
  • Apologizing for cursing. OMG how I loathe this. Your cursing doesn't effect me one bit. I mean, yea, the way you speak will effect my opinion of you as a person, cursing or not, good or bad. But get over yourself. I've heard all those words. If you choose not to curse in front of me because I'm a lady, that's pretty cool, but I honestly don't PREFER it over a guy who speaks kindness all the time but cusses a little. And if you choose to curse with reckless abandon but it's not in a degrading or hurtful way, I won't think any less of you at all. In moderation, in front of the right audience, I won't even NOTICE you're doing it. But you don't get to have your curse cake and eat it too. You don't get to curse and then get the chivalry points with a "pardon my language". Sorry, bro. And if you do it more than once, I can't just let it slide. I have to point out that you aren't some knight in shining armor gentleman saint because you apologized for cursing after the fact. This is my only REAL chivalry pet peeve. It is SO self-involved. Treat me like a lady or treat me like an equal, but don't treat me like a child. *sigh* ok, sorry, end rant.
  • Actually, no. Not end rant. While I'm ranting, but on an only mildly related topic, do not tell me to smile. By all means, I welcome attempts to evoke a smile. Some polite small talk, a joke or something of the like? But should someone I don't know give me a "oh, c'mon, it's a beautiful day, how about a smile?" while I'm, say, sitting in a Starbucks waiting on my coffee, writing out a grocery list, so help him God. I have a range of thoughts and emotions, good sir, and not all of them result in a stupid grin plastered on my face all day. I was not put on this planet to be my most visually appealing at all times to all people in all the land. And I know. It's harmless. It's really an awkward guy's way of starting conversation. He's not meaning to insinuate I'm anything less than someone he wants to talk to and most guys have never thought twice about it. But when you do think about it, am I crazy to think it's SO self-involved and belittling? Okay, now really. End rant.
Let me reiterate, chivalry is still super cool. These are the only ones that seem to have gotten out of hand, in my personal opinion. For the record, guys (because I'm just sure a bajillion GUYS are reading my blog), pulling our chair out, paying on the first date, walking street-side on a sidewalk, us girls still eat that up. Please never stop. When you're a gentleman, it holds us to a standard of acting like a lady. And vice versa. Can I get a amen?



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