5 Things

1. The Starbucks Reduced Fat Turkey Bacon Egg White Sandwich on a Whole Wheat English Muffin - Gluten free? Nope. Organic? Don't think so. Dairy free? Not even. Delicious, convenient and keeps me full until lunch when I snoozed 4 times and don't have time to make a breakfast (which happened like three times this week)? Ab-so-lutely.

2. White nail polish - It takes me back to Home Room in 8th grade, painting my nails with a bottle of White Out and then picking it off the rest of the day. But it seems to be all over the blogs. And, I mean, I hacked 8 inches of hair off last month because collar bone bobs are "all over the blogs" so yea. I'm going to paint my nails white.

I hate my wrinkly, old lady hands so the fact that this turned out a little blurry suited me just fine.

3. Sleeping - No really. It's been my hobby lately. I had to pull over half way home from work the other day (granted, my commute is 65 miles) because I just could not keep my eyes open. I know it's because I've fallen off the Whole eating program. And D's been feeling lazy lately, too, so we both just come home and crash out on the couch, me asleep, him shopping online for Jeep things. Sleeping has become so much of a hobby that I wasn't sure I could think of 5 things I was obsessed with for this post. I was worried it would be: 1. Sleep 2. Napping 3. Resting 4. Staring through people who are talking to me and thinking about how much I want to be sleeping and 5. Hitting the snooze button

4. Stoner laughing - think Bevis & Butthead. I've been doing it after I crack a joke at work to cue people that I'm kidding. Sometimes they need help because everyone at my job is SO NICE. Seriously. Like the nicest, most innocent people ever so my humor is usually wildly out of place. And the last thing I want to do is offend the nicest people in the world! Thus, I've started stoner laughing at my own jokes. Charming.

5. Creating Playlists - When I ported my phone number over to my company, I lost all rights to harass AT&T about making sure my music transferred when I bought a new phone. Now I just go to my IT guy and he hands me a new phone. And this last time, all my music was missing. And I howled and cried and my IT guy was like, "I do not care even a little bit. It performs business functions. Buck up, sweetheart." Now, I should clarify that obviously, all my iTunes that I paid for were in the iTunes cloud or whatever and I could load those. I'm talking about the torrented music I downloaded in college. You're feeling less sorry for me, now, huh? Well, anyway. I have slowly been growing my music collection the legitimate way since I got my new phone. And yesterday I downloaded Miley's Party in the USA, Britney's Slave for You, The Pitch Perfect soundtrack. Ya know... some of the staples. So I can finally build my playlists back up! I mean, I still workout to Missy Elliot or Fergie Pandora most of the time, but not having to listen to a whole album anymore will be nice. Are you vomiting over my taste in music yet?! No? Then we're probably best friends.

Only the best.

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Water Works: An Update

Tomorrow (today; I wrote this Tuesday night) is going to be SO exciting.

Do you remember my post about Water Conservation from WAY BACK in 2012? Well, tomorrow, I have a big presentation. Huge. And if it goes well, it's one giant step for my company's water conservation practices. And I'm like a buzzing little hummingbird, like a hummingbird on Red Bull and Adderall, just freaking out about how exciting it all is.

It's actually a misnomer to say that I have a presentation tomorrow. I have a whole slew of people flying in tomorrow from all over the country to present to my leadership team here in Seminole. Seriously. Like eight people sitting in a hotel right this second, going over last minute edits and preparing for tomorrow. Experts in every aspect of water conservation, coming to lay out the plan we've developed over the last 8 months and pray that by the end of the afternoon, we have a room full of nodding heads. I won't actually be delivering the presentation (to my chagrin... I love presenting) because, well, that's what experts are for. But I will have about 30 minutes prior to the presentation with my local team to crack the whip. Let them know that they better love what me and my experts have cooked up, help us make it work or be prepared to go to hell for wasting water!!!

Kidding.

But seriously. I'm going to set the stage like a boss. No nay-sayers. No side-bar conversations. No sidetracking. We will be solution-focused. Open-minded. We NEED to make this work and with the brain power I'm going to have all sitting in one room tomorrow, I know we can accomplish that. 

as;ldgkah;poidgfas;dlkfj There's no way I'm going to be able to sleep tonight. 

I mean if we run out of water, how will we have adorable gifs like this in the future?!

So yea. Happy Hump Day, bloggies. Conserve some water today!

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Puppy Love

No puppies were posed in the making of this blog post. This is the true story of how Kanye makes sure I do not forget to take him to my mom's house to play with her pup, Bella.

Oh Good Morning. I think I shall keep an eye on you and make sure you don't try to leave this house without taking me with you.

Don't mind me. But really. Take me to Bella's house to play please.

I'll just wait here for you to finish getting ready. But don't forget about me.

How's your breakfast? Good? Good.

Ok. You have shoes on. Ish just got real. Let's go to Bella's.

Are you gonna take me? 

Are you going to take me to Bella's house?

Are you?

Are you?!?

Seriously. If my shoes are on and I'm sitting, his nose is basically in my eyeball. Just staring me down. He really, REALLY loves Bella.  

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Weekend Update

Friday High - The new Theory T-shirt I got at TJMaxx for like 15 bucks tied with dinner, drinks and gossiping with Ashley.

Hipsters be crazy. In labels. 

Friday Low - OMG where do I begin?! With the flat tire at 6am? Or the issues getting the spare on? Or how about the line at Discount? Or even better, the fact that Discount didn't take my company Car Maintenance Card so waiting in the 30 person line was a waste of an hour of my life. Boo on Friday.

Oh hai, the lug wrench doesn't fit the lug nuts. Cool.

Loitering crowds waiting for Discount to open

Saturday High - My man coming home from his work trip. Kanye feels an overwhelming responsibility to protect me when D's away so I don't get a moment of sleep. Kanye barks at every noise he hears and I could NOT get him to calm the heck down. I considered just opening the front door and letting him free. I don't mean that, but D coming home really WAS the highlight of the weekend. Not for mushy reasons. For sleepy reasons.

Saturday Low - The butt kicking that the Body Combat instructor handed me Saturday morning. I'm still sore. Every time the music quieted down, I'd yell at Ashley for convincing me to take the stupid class with her. I feel like I got kicked in the back by a horse. I mean... yea, I'll take the class again. It was a great workout. But ouch.

Sunday High - D and I deciding to be as minimally productive as humanly possible after church. We ran two errands. The rest of the day was musing about the things we COULD be accomplishing from behind our respective iPads.

Sunday Low - The end part? The part where Sunday ended and Monday arrived and I had to go back to work? That was the low.

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I'm a Crusher, Cady, I'm a Crusher.

You guys. I have a problem.

Can you guess what my problem is by this picture alone? If so, you might also be a Crusher.

Back in the day, when I had a Blackberry... with a tracker ball... and touchscreens were a thing of the future... I was a BrickBreaker fiend! I barely even noticed the state of Hawaii when my family went to visit. I was too busy Breaking. You know, the little pong game where you break tiny squares with a ball bouncing around your screen? What is it about that concept that is so timeless? We are going to be playing pong on Mars someday.

We're also going to be playing some form of Bejeweled. And these days, that form is.... say it with me...

CANDY CRUSH!!!

I've lost all personal self control. I was playing it during GAME 6 OF THE NBA FINALS forgoodnessake!

It all started when I heard Kidd Kraddick's Kellie Raspberry talking about how much she loved it. And I love Kellie and I think we're either soul mates or the same person somehow divided in to two bodies so I knew I needed to also play Candy Crush.

And I loved it. When I would win a hard level, I'd shake my fists in the air and howl "SUGAR CRUUUUUUUSH!!!" (because that's what pops up on the screen to let you know you won) and I'd do a happy dance. It was a high. A sugar high.

But then I couldn't stop. I played it through our entire jeep trip two weekends ago. And if you're also a CC addict, you'll say "well, Arica, that's an exaggeration because unless you're one of those dopes that antes up $.99 every 10 minutes to keep playing, you MUST have taken a break at some point". I be not dope nor exaggerator.

Again. Kidd Kraddick is to blame. He posted about the LIFE CHEAT. How to change the date settings in your phone to trick the app in to thinking you waited the 30 minutes for a new life. And I will NOT link the instructions to that cheat. I won't. Because it will ruin your life. After a few hours of playing non-stop on the road to Cloudcroft, I decided I wanted to fix the time/date on my phone back to normal (you can't get texts, emails, ect while you're using the date-switch cheat) and then I opened the game back up... and THIS greeted me:

And I said, I'm too far in. I cannot wait 4987/60/24 = 3 and a half DAYS just to get ONE life. So I went back and changed the settings on my phone, disabling almost all the "phone" qualities and basically turned it in to the most expensive, capable Gameboy ever. And I kept playing. Cheating and cheating and cheating for more and more lives. I was in deep, you guys. By the end of the weekend, I was here:

And I had to call it quits. I needed my phone to receive emails and notifications and whatnot... I could not live in this la-la-candy-land. So for 6 LONG days I didn't mess with Candy Crush at all. ALL last week, I was Crushless (that's a lie, I downloaded it on my iPad).

So yea. Now I'm back to playing by the rules after my Candy detox. I put the phone down and wait for my new lives like a homosapien. I'm a real picture of moderation and control.

And $%&*!@$^@!*($&!# Level 17 & 44! Amiright?!? 

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Obamanation

Why? Why do people hate Obama so much? I realize I'm naive. I realize there is a lot more evil in our government than I'd care to know. And I know Obama is in a position of power that some people believe he is not using correctly. I get that. But why JUST Obama?? Why are signs like these that I saw in a convenience store window in Mayhill, NM so common but signs of this nature about Governors don't exist? Or Senators? Or Supreme Court Justices? Aren't they ALL responsible? And when people say the government is corrupt... how? How is an elected body of people that is ever-changing in and of itself corrupt?

And just... why? What good does spreading this much hate about anyone do? Obviously none. This is purely for attention. These signs in a town of <1000 people is not doing ANY good. Call your local representative. Help those MORE effected than you. Pray for your elected officials. Join a PAC. Campaign for someone you believe in. DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE, you crotchety, bored old man!

I see your freedom of speech window signs and raise you a freedom of speech blog post, bro. (Although I realize exponentially more people have seen his window signs than will see this blog post so I don't think that counts as a "raise"... WHATEVER!)

*deep breath* Is it Friday yet?

I felt they really drove their message home on this one by printing it on black paper.

"We sell Obama Toilet paper it may cause a rash" Ok... that's just spirited Republican humor. I have no beef with this sign. I also support random capitalization. 

Thank you, Mr. Crouch, for specifying this as a "notice". 

Where to begin? The quotes around the word "abortion"?  The fact that he's a pro-choice right-wing extremist? The misspelling of Nancy PeloSi's name? The selection of these three democrats specifically as undeserving of life?? This is the most confusing sign I've ever seen.

Now this one... this one goes over my head. But I thought I'd include it because his punctuation and use of multiple fonts on this one showed effort. REALLY love the comma after the word 'like'.

SOMETHING tells me we run background checks on politicians. MAY want to fact check this one. And I personally would still like a background checks run on gun owners. That's just due diligence.

And just a quick shot of the front of the store. Mayhill Store Free Coffee in Mayhill, NM near Cloudcroft. The coffee is better at the Mayhill Cafe anyway and we didn't encounter a single grumpy hater while we were there, either! Also, try their biscuits! Ohhhh man, totally worth the gluten.

I'd also like to take this time to say how very thankful I am for our freedom of speech. Really. I am. While I don't agree with everyone's message, everyone is entitled to that freedom and that is something so great about this country. 'Murica!

And while these signs are clearly good old-fashioned REGULAR aggressive, in case anyone has not stumbled upon the hilarrrrrious website that is passiveaggressivenotes.com, do yourself a favor and make your humpday by checking out that site. OMG so funny.

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choreographed light saber dance fight

Oh yes. You read that correctly. D and I went to his cousin's wedding two weekends ago and although I took a blogging sabbatical, I'm not going to not blog about that wedding. It was BY FAR the most interesting and memorable wedding I've ever been to!

He proposed at a Star Wars convention. They were registered at ThinkGeek.com. I mean, I was kind of expecting some... eccentricities. And by that, I mean I was HOPING for some eccentricities. But their invites were pretty typical and the venue decor led me to believe this was just going to be a regular union of a pair of Star Wars nerds. Until I saw R2D2 in the corridor of the church and I was like ohhhhhhhhhhh wait.

R2D2 was their ring bearer. He was remote controlled and about 3 feet tall and went "boop boop beep boop beep beep beep boop" as he went down the aisle. Very realistic looking, I think... although I've only seen about 45 minutes of a Star Wars movie before. I have utter confidence this couple wasn't going to let an unauthentic-looking R2D2 be a part of their wedding.

The groom wore shin guards like Luke Skywalker and a pretty intricate suit jacket, but other than that, the rest of the wedding itself was pretty straightforward. The bride, Daryl's cousin Sarah, made her own dress and her bridesmaids dresses and they turned out really well! I would not have guessed she hand made them all. And I thought to myself, R2D2! What a fun, harmless way to show your personality at your wedding! Now let's go eat some cake.

At the reception, we ate dinner and mingled some more with family, patiently waiting for the bridal party to come in to the reception hall but it took them a while. We were finished with dinner before we ever saw them. But when we saw a full-out-with-feeling Darth Vader and three storm troopers came stomping in to the hall, we understood why. Darth Vader introduced the wedding party and couple and then they took some wedding party pictures with all the Star Wars characters they'd hired. Afterward, Daryl's uncle asked his granddaughter (age 7) if she wanted to go take a picture with Darth Vader and when she said no, I immediately responded with "I DO!!!" and hopped up from the table. So D and I and his uncle went and hammed it up with DV, the storm troopers and R2D2. The storm troopers even danced with some of the girls! This kept everyone pretty busy so the couple had time to eat.

Throughout the rest of the night, there were MULTIPLE choreographed, Renaissance-y dances, the bride sang a song to the groom while her father played guitar, some pretty hilarious friends of the couple gave eccentric and hilarious speeches. But the whole time I was thinking, "I still haven't seen a light saber..." I eventually concluded that the light sabers were going to be for the farewell at the end of the night and D and I decided it was about time to call it since we'd been driving all day and this party was still raging on. But THANK YOU LORD JESUS, we were still making our round of goodbyes when the choreographed wedding party light saber dance fight happened.

Apologies for this being sideways... I know little to nothing about uploading videos to YouTube and obviously did this very wrong.

Afterward, I was convinced that every kid at that wedding is ruined forever on weddings. Nothing will ever measure up. I LOVED the photo ops with the characters AND the wedding party, the bride and groom seemed completely in their element and having a BLAST and there was PLENTY to talk about with everyone at your table, no matter how well you knew them. After this experience, these two families had something so fun and unique to bond over, there wasn't a stranger in the room.

And THAT, my friends, is why I've decided to revisit my idea of a Harry Potter themed wedding. At least I know it won't be the most nerdy wedding D's family has ever seen!

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Currently

Alright alright alright alright alright! I'm sorrrrrrry. No good reason for not blogging for a whole week other than a case of PMS that had me laying on the couch refusing to do anything productive whatsoever. Multiple nights involved me asleep by 8pm. Being a lady is hard work.

Watching: The Spurs go! And also slowly working our way through the new Arrested Developments. Holy macaroni, Portia de Rossi looks SO SO different! I thought it was a totally different actress! She's not as good of an actress anymore... Ellen has ruined her.

Eating: Summery salads. I've always kind of avoided the salads with strawberries and apples and walnuts but the other day I had the Savannah Chopped Salad from McAlister's and it converted me. Like light shined down and angels sang and I was like "oh. hai. eat season foods. revolutionary!"

Thinking About: Work. So I won't go in to it because it's a lame blog topic. But I have a lot of fun/exciting/stressful stuff going on right now so that's probably part of the reason I came home every day last week and zonked out.

Mad About: Losing one of my dad's Father's Day presents!!! Ugh. I got him a Dick Vitale signed book and just like his Christmas gift and also D's Christmas gift AND Valentine's gift, I misplaced it. Basically, I am the most badass present hider ever. EVER. So, as soon as I find it, Dad, I'll wrap it up and put a big bow on it and we'll eat banana pudding and pretend it's Father's Day all over again. That, or I'll give it to you in lieu of your birthday present in September, because I'll probably lose that too.

Here's PROOF that I got it... It's a board book he can read to Peyt... but I put it somewhere safe and cannot remember where it is.

Reading: Two separate books on raising backyard chickens. And FYI, there is apparently little to no consensus in the chicken raising world on how things should be done. These books contradict each other left and right. So, I'm cross-referencing with backyardchickens.com and reading forums... it's all quite nerdy at this point. But look at our new coop!

We put it together Saturday morning and it's sooooooooooooo cute! I'm trying to decide if I want to paint it... thoughts? opinions? Next step, a chicken run.

Celebrating: Father's Day! Duh!!! My seester threw a Father's Day barbecue last night and we all sat around ooo-ing and ahhh-ing at Peyton's cuteness. One of our favorite hobbies.

Then the game came on and Peyton could have tuned in to a dragon and lit mine, my dad's AND D's hair on fire and I wouldn't have noticed. I mean... COME ON Danny Green! Will you marry me?!?

I also got D a present from Kanye because even though Kanye is MY dog, because D works in Midland, he ends up helping out like... a LOT with him. And he plays with him and helps train him and is a wonderful puppy dad. Cute story alert: Kanye was fighting D for a toy one day and D made a comment about how maybe he should let K win more often to build his confidence. And he ACTUAL does that. He'll let K win and pet him and tell him 'You're so fast! Good job buddy!' and it's SO ridiculous and adorable.

Teaching K to drive. Move B! Get out the way! haha get it?? because he's a dog?! 

Taking K for a walk in his suit while I finished getting ready for a wedding last weekend.

Taking K for a walk in the wild outdoors last weekend on his Jeeping trip.

Craving: CHICKENS! The live kind. But you already knew that. I'm also craving some good under eye cream or something. I have incorrigible dark circles under my eyes and my Revlon stuff is not doing the trick. Recommendations?

Making Me Happy: My makeshift paleo iced cinnamon vanilla lattes. I made one like every day last week. Sometimes, you just want a big, fat iced latte but then you're like, ehhhhh do I want dairy wrecking shop on my body? Solution, solution. And it's so pretty and summery in a tall glass with a colorful straw. It reminds me of Spring semester in college when I'd get an iced latte on my way to class every day before my metabolism started pumping it's breaks.

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Summer Bucket List

Today I'm on the road so I wrote this post ahead. Why I feel the need to disclose that, I'm not sure. I guess I don't want you thinking that I'm spending my time in the passenger seat typing a blog post on my iPad. No no. That would cut in to my napping and/or asking D random questions ("Do you ever meet someone and wonder if they have like... a really dark secret?" or "If you could quit your job and open a small business, what kind of business would you open?" or "What ARE this?" speaking in a Russian accent while pointing at things on the backs of semi-trucks) I'd have to assume he prefers if I just sleep.

Summer Bucket List time, ya'll!

Have you seen the precious ones on Pinterest where you and your kiddos write all the things you want to do that summer on little pieces of paper and put them in an actual bucket and then when everyone's bored, you pick a thing out of the bucket and it's like "build a fort in the living room!" and then you do that? Those are cool. Not sure where I was going with that... but I hope I do that with my kids someday.

Nice and short. Completely doable. I already have plans set to accomplish a couple of those. What am I missing? What's on your bucket list this summer?!

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Friday Friday Friday!

Muahahahahahahaha it's my Friday, y'all!

Tomorrow, Daryl, Kanye and I are loading up in the truck, hitching up the Jeep and hittin' the road. First stop is D's cousin's wedding in Albuquerque, New Mexico. This will actually be the first Gonzales family function I've attended! I've met one set of aunt and uncle but this will be my first time meeting most of his family. I have no idea what to wear. I got a red lace dress and D said his aunts would love it because "they love lace and crochet and stuff like that" haha but I'm not sure it's JUST right. Real talk: trying on every dress I own and then tossing them in a pile on the guest bed will happen tonight. 

I'm also going to steal away for a quick breakfast with my Lori on Friday morning. She and her man moved to Albuquerque for the summer so it's a perfect coincidence and we just MUST take advantage of it. Because having breakfast with her when she only lived 2 hours away was just too convenient. We prefer to do breakfast in neighboring states.

Then, Friday afternoon, D and I are off for our first Jeeping adventure! He got Rickety Cricket (that's what I call the Jeep) last August.

Cricket last August.

D has been showering him with TLC for 8 months or so. He got the steering tightened, the brakes all fixed, it runs SO much quieter now (don't know how he did that) and a lift installed and a bunch of other stuff (As a mechanical engineer, I SHOULD know more about cars... but I don't. Sorry. That's the best I can do) and then yesterday, he got some new tires and now he's road-ready!

I thought his old, smaller tires were perfectly fine until I saw his NEW tires! Now it's even MORE difficult to get in and out of... but I'll manage ;)

Now we have this monster man toy in the garage next to my shiny, girly crossover SUV. It's quite a site.

So yea, this weekend, we're taking Cricket and Kanye to the mountains. D handled the ENTIRE trip, booked the cabin, planned the trails, knows where we're having LUNCH. Everything. It. Has. Been. Glorious. And I'm SO so so so so excited. I just have to pack a suitcase, pack a puppy suitcase and enjoy the ride.

I'm on a mission to find an all-white dream catcher at one of those side-of-the-road reservation shops, make s'mores at the cabin campfire and get lots of good pictures of nature and my boys. That is the entirety of my goals for the weekend. Hellooooo relaxation.

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Chickens!

When I was younger, my mom used a tactic with me where she wouldn't tell me 'no' when I came up with some scheme or obsession. She'd just listen politely and nod and then go about her business because in a couple days, I'd have a new obsession. Typical mom stuff, no? The stuff that was really important to me stuck around and that's when she knew she'd have to actually deal with the fact that I wanted pink hair or 18 piercings in my left ear or, Lord help us all, to be a spy.

Unfortunately, I never outgrew this childhood quirk, as you can tell by my bi-weekly "5 things I'm currently obsessed with" posts. My obsessions are generally just cycling through a revolving door. D will generally just tell me 'no' when I come up with some off-the-wall scheme. I guess that's how most dudes do it. Then it's an exhausting exercise of me trying to convince him. Sometimes, if it's not important, I do tire and give up. But, sometimes, much to his chagrin, I don't tire. I don't give up. There is no stopping me. And he's not going to get a moment's peace until he either caves or takes the time to do enough research to present me with a list of cons as long as my list of pros and logic me out of doing something (he did this when I wanted a neck tattoo. Thank God).

Well. The chicken obsession isn't going away. After weeks of including him on my research, chicken trivia, verifying city ordinances, coop shopping and just generally not letting him enjoy a single NBA Playoff game in peace without chickens coming up, Sunday morning he said those magical words I'd been WAITING to hear, "Have at it". Cue Arrested Development style chicken dancing for the rest of the day.

And before he could say "Has anyone in this house ever SEEN a chicken?" we were the proud owners of this little beauty:

It's just the coop, we're going to have to elevate it, add flooring and build the run, but isn't it darling?!

Despite how I'm spinning this story, I'm pretty sure D's kind of excited about our budding backyard farm. I mean, c'mon, this is pretty dope, no? Cute little hens boppin' around in the backyard. Going to gather eggs in the morning for breakfast! I mean, I usually eat 3-4 eggs every day so when my little flock starts laying eggs, I can go from buying 2-3 dozen eggs at the store every week to maybe just one. That saves me approximately... drum roll please... $7.20 a week! At that rate, I'll get my money back for this coop in like... 6 months. I actually was angling this to be a joke about how this wasn't really about saving money but hey. That's actually not that bad. But really, it's not about saving money. It's about a fun hobby, cute chickies running around in my yard and fresh, oragnic, free-range eggs!

Anyway, expect lots more to come on the process of going from least-outdoorsy-girl-you-know to chicken farmer! :D I'm so overwhelmingly excited!

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