A lunch break blogger, just writing to hear herself talk.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Water Works

No really. I need like... millions. But it's for a good cause. So, I'm in Houston for work pitching an idea to the Senior Vice President of Environmental, Health and Safety, hoping she (that's right, SHE! How baller is that? I'm already obsessed with her. I feel a little like I'm presenting to Hillary Clinton) will give me lots and lots of dough.

I don't think I can blog very many details about the amount of water the gas plant I work at uses, but it's lots. All major plants use lots of water. Fresh, ground water. DRINKABLE water. But I've got a plan. And I guess it's a good one because here I sit. In the vacant office next to our VP's Houston office (she's based out of NYC but has a window office reserved for her visits to Houston. AND a spare window office for people waiting to talk to her. I'm not bitter that I had a cubicle for the year I worked here... not bitter at all.) sippin' on a Sbux, waiting patiently for my time slot with her. 

It just sucks because it's impossible to make an environmental project economic. It 's always cheaper to be less socially responsible. That's the real challenge of this project. Like, yes, I know we own and operate our own water field so slurping fresh water out of the ground is, on paper, the way to go. But I'd like you to throw millions of dollars at one of my other ideas anyway. Pretty Please. Big, hopeful smile. :D

I know what you're thinking and yes, I should be preparing for my presentation instead of googling Bridesmaids gifs for my blog. But I'm getting cocky in my old age. Yesterday morning before I left, D wished me good luck and I kind of scoffed and rolled my eyes, like, "oh, I don't need your stinkin' luck" and then I stopped in my tracks and was like "woah, haus. stop being a punk kid and take this seriously"

But I've given this presentation to errrrbody. Like, obvi my mentor, my supervisor, my manager, my EHS team, and then Corporate heard about it and sent people to Seminole to hear it so I presented to them, and then I gave an UPDATED presentation to the same groups of people. And now I'm here. My biggest fear is reciting the presentation like a robot because I've done it so many times. AND I'm having my technical advisor in Seminole dial in so that if she throws me a real curve ball of a technical question, I can... what's the word... like... when you pass a question off? Whatever, I can't think of it. I'll pass off the question to him.

Also, I happen to LOVE giving presentations. I love meetings in general. People complain, "grrr I'm in meetings all day, how will I ever get my work done." but not me. I'm like ready 10 minutes early, have my coffee in hand, sticky notes to write random thoughts I have that I don't really want in my notebook (grocery list, gift list, mostly just lists), phone's on silent, I'm READY. Running a meeting, or better yet giving a full on presentation? Be still my heart. I love that ish. An entire room having to shut up and listen to me for an extended period of time. We only have to talk about stuff I find value in. I get to say ELMO! (which is my favorite. It means "Enough, let's move on." I love that it's called Elmo at my company (is that at all companies? probably) and I also love ending tangents). Presentations are the BEST. 

Now I'm all giddy just thinking about the presentation. So instead of prepping, I think I'll sit here and practice my Kristen Wiig face.

Be a hero, help me save water, Ms Vice President Lady


  1. My company doesn't use ELMO, as far as I know, but I will be implementing it immediatly.
    Also, I think you need less bottom lip in your Kristen face! Oh, and you're hilarious!!! And I love you!



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