A lunch break blogger, just writing to hear herself talk.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Get Real

So I got an email today from Chase Bank saying I could get pre-sale tickets to the Beyonce/Jay-Z tour this summer, on sale TODAY! I immediately got so excited and followed the link to Ticketmaster. I typed in my code and started browsing the seating chart... thinking if I'd want to invite D or blow him off and force my friend Katie to go with me (she's already in Houston and would be way more fun to take that D). Then I remembered... Oh right. I hate concerts. And I just closed the browser window. And went back to my work.

So I thought I'd share with you my list of things everyone else seems to love and I do not love.

1. Concerts - the sound quality is poor. It's crowded and expensive. For free, I can stay home and watch Youtube music videos with much better production quality and actually see the star's face. AND I don't have to listen to songs I don't already know. AND I don't have to wear pants.

I just don't get the appeal...

2. Fresh air - I will almost always choose temperature-controlled indoor activities to fresh air.
3. Bowling - Doesn't it seem like it might give you a wrist injury? It's not very ergonomic.
4. Dodgeball - I just take it too personal.

Yea... no. I will not be purposefully signing up for this.

5. Getting spa treatments/my nails done/my hair done - it takes too damn long! Even massages, where part of me is hoping it goes on forever, another part of me is wishing I weren't laying in a dark room for 90 precious minutes of my beloved Saturday.
6. Babies - Children, yes. Babies, no.

The exception.

7. When my friends call me - Yes, even you. 99% of the time, I'd rather you had text. But everyone agrees with me on that, though, right?
8. Channing Tatum - I'm sorry. This is so mean to say and it's my worst fear that someone else might say it about me because other people HAVE said it about me before but... he's a total butter face. You know, the horrific term guys use for girls with hot bodies and not hot faces... 'everything about her is hot BUT HER FACE... BUTTER FACE'. He just does NOT do it for me. And I'm such an awful person but it's partly those EARS! And also the fact that he's hairless. Weirds me out.

And I'm a brat, but even here, his body is meh. He could use to cut body fat.

9. Moderate temperatures - If it's not 95+ degrees, it's cold and not worth leaving my house for. Stop prancing around in 75 degree weather like it's ideal. If I'm not at a pool, there is no reason for me to be outdoors (see number 2).
10. Pumpkin Spice Lattes - WHITE GIRLS! IT IS NOT WORTH THE CALORIES! And don't act like the dairy in that latte doesn't make you fart. Get real.

What about you? What awesomeness do you just not get?


  1. I agree with almost all of these!!! I hate hate hate concerts. I only have gone for Britney, NSYNC, and JT. And Bruno, if the rodeo counts...I'm still gonna try an call you though, bc you are too far away now for only texting ;)



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