A lunch break blogger, just writing to hear herself talk.

Monday, December 30, 2013


Working in an itsy bitsy teensy town has it's ups and downs.

One 'up' is the gym. She's a dime. Oil money in a tiny town never looked so good. State of the art equipment, classroom with a KIOSK where you can cue up any class you want and it'll start playing on a projector (Spin, yoga, step, you name it), and last but not least, Gerald. Gerald is the 5'6" very ripped black guy that works there and handles little old people's physical therapy and is always more than willing to help me set up a new program, correct my plank form or brainstorm ideas as to why my toes fall asleep when I use the elliptical (anyone else?! EVERY TIME. My shoelaces aren't too tight, either... it's an enigma). 

But Gerald also totally sucks. Because if it weren't for him, I could go to the gym and be like, yea, I've totally always looked like this in these tights. I'd give anything for less consistent staffing. Someone who didn't know me would be like, "aw look at that lady working hard and sweatin' her butt off on her lunch break" but Gerald knows. Gerald knows I used to go to the gym EVERY DAY. He knows I was in decent shape at one point. There's no fooling him now. Darn you Gerald.

Moral of the story, I went back to the gym on my lunch break for the first time today. I had enough time to write this short blog after though because I had zero stamina. Getting back in shape is not gonna be pretty, you guys. Everyone brace yourselves for some blog posts circa April 2013; all diet, exercise and complaining. 

Oh, and also every January I come up with a brilliant invention. The butt sports bra (basically sports Spanx) to keep my butt fat from jiggling all over the place while I lose weight. Not just for aesthetic reasons, but because it kind of hurts, right?! Please don't leave me out in the cold here, bootylicious ladies. I can't be the only one experiencing this.

Happy last Monday of 2013!!!


  1. My toes too!!! ( I thought I was a freak too! ) I've found a couple pairs of shoes that don't make them. So, buy new shoes!

  2. Also, can we extend the butt bra down to upper thigh too, please. This is Numero Uno reason this gal doesn't run! OWWIE! Brilliant idea. I will invest.

  3. I think the fuzzy feet thing is from you being tall? I def get num toes on that thing...I dont have much of an ass but my belly shakes and it grosses me out, hahahaha!!!



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