Delusional

I blame my parents for it, but I am completely delusional.  Anyone who has been around when my thoughts stream out my mouth unfiltered will know how out of touch I can be. I figured I'd share a few because, in retrospect, they're pretty hilarious.

• I shouldn't be embarrassed by how slow I jog at the park because maybe it'll encourage some of the folks out here walking. Like... you don't have to be FAST, just go as fast as you can. I'm an inspiration! *fist pump*
• If you gave me 1 year to train, like training was my full time job, I could definitely qualify for the Olympics in SOMETHING. Probably something on the trampoline.
  
  
                           
                           
• "False. I'm great at lots of things I don't love. And I can be great at anything I want." - Literally my immediate reaction to reading this quote on Pinterest this morning.
• "I don't think being hit in the head with a beer bottle would hurt THAT bad. The guy on this show is a wimp. Daryl, hit me in the head with this bottle, I'll prove it to you."
  
                         
• $59?! You're trippin', Bed Bath and Beyond. I could draw that guitar art on a sheet of craft paper while watching one episode of Fashion Police fo' free! It's just LINES! (I think this is a common one, assuming you could recreate art for cheaper than the price the artist is selling it for).
• I really and truly think I could out-eat Daryl in a pizza eating contest. I told him so last night, in fact.
• While doing sassy, viral YouTube Beyonce choreography, I'm fairly certain I'm NAILING it and look exactly like those incredibly in-shape men in 6" heels.
• Got out of the swimming pool and wanted to go to Outback with slightly damp, ratty hair and I ran my fingers through the top part of my hair until my fingers snagged while looking in the mirror and I told Daryl, "It's like... cool California beach hair!" 

And I honestly believe this stuff at the time. Obviously, I'm pretty pleased Daryl refused to hit me over the head with a beer bottle... but sometimes I have to take a step back and say, "woah, self. You are not invincible/exceedingly athletic/a supermodel/ect" because I think I forget sometimes.