Let's Do Dallas

We are headed to big D tomorrow!  

So I thought I'd write out our Dallas bucket list. On the top of my Dallas bucket list is of course

but I have green boogers and the high temps will be in the mid-fourties... so I'll have to take a raincheck on that one I think. That's okay. I'll settle for good old climate controlled:

but even this, I may have to compromise on. Settle for Grapevine Mills Mall. Poor me.

D is mostly excited about 

and there will be no compromising on this one. It MUST be Fuel City and nothing less. That's okay. I will insist on some quality 

but I'm not picky. Just some good, big city thai food. 

But most importantly, on our bucket list is to get some good QT in with

These cuties and

These weirdos

And these lovebirds

and these hotties

And this gentleman (but not that little girl. I don't know her)

And ESPECIALLY this giant nerd back in Texas for the holidays

And I'm sure lots of other beautiful Dallas people. Now I'm getting really excited about it after stalking these losers all over Facebook to find pictures of them. Yay Yay Yayyyyy Dallas! 

But I'll miss this one this year. She decided to stay in Houston since we're doing a house party in Dallas. She prefers confetti and noisemakers and dance clubs and sexxy sexxxxy dresses. Are you shocked? I am. ;) I'll miss my Mel.

I thought about having D go on without me and staying home to relax and take care of Kanyeezie but then I decided I couldn't miss out on this:

Aww the champagne-y kiss at midnight.

2013 will be the best year of all the years! 

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Green Boogers

Home from work today with green boogers. Which everyone knows means sinus infection. Which everyone knows is miserable but not contagious.

Made out like a bandit on Christmas, as always. #spoiled

1 - Dior Addict Lip Awakening Lip Gloss // 2 - hot glue gun // 3 - a bajillion new toys for K-dawg // 4: Italian crystal wine glasses // 5: Banana Republic long black fur vest // 6 The Michael Kors murdered out black on black on black watch I've been craving for, what, like, a year? // 7 Spiked black bracelet to go with my watch :) // 8 Just Dance 4 (because that's the one with Moves Like Jagger on it) // 9 A legit knife set so D and I don't have to saw everything with our old dorm knife sets // 10 A Keurig!!!! :D

This isn't everything I got but it's everything that had an icon on Polyvore. My daddy also got me a stun gun! and made me a beautiful cedar chest. Strange there isn't a polyvore icon for a stun gun... whatevs.

Yesterday I spent the day tearing down Christmas and reassembling regular life. It's a total relief. Like, Christmas? Check. Done. On to the next thing. The next thing is losing my winter coat, which came this year in the form of winter hot pants (gained it all in my booty, love handles and upper thighs). I have our cruise in March so I have a deadline, which is always best. I need a motivator.

I did a darling little DIY yesterday. And by "did", I mean directed D as he did it. He's better at spray paint.

I found some of those hard rubber animal toys in the dollar section of Target. Think something like this (I forgot to take a before picture):

Only slightly larger however about this intricate. nothing fancy.

I had some silver spray paint but it was running out so I settled for gold and I'm so very glad I settled. They turned out perfect. Ch-ch-ch-check it out.

Spray paint all the animals!

I wanted a lion, a tiger and a bear for obvious reasons but the tiger, without it's stripes is rather indistinct. Decided on a giraffe instead.

Now they live on my bookshelf

They look metal and expensive. Hooray!

Now let's get hyped up for New Years. Go away, green boogers! Can't have champagne on antibiotics.

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1, 2, 3, 4

ahahaha look at that baby! Don'tcha just wanna zerbert those cheeks until the cows come home?!

Lazin' in the sunshine, chewin' on a bone, just waiting for daddy to get home from hunting because he's not a big dog like Gunner. He has to stay home with the lady folk.

Awwweee... baby Kanye! And pissed Bella. So sweeeeeet.

1. D's Christmas gift STILL hasn't arrived. I ordered it on November 8th. I considered ordering another one and paying the rush delivery and then just sending the original one back but now I'm leaning toward just waiting it out and giving him his smaller gifts on Christmas and then he'll have a Hanukkah style week 'o gifts!

2. omg is this not the crappiest santa you've ever seen? It's so crappy its hilarious. He kind of looked drunk. I paid $9 for a picture of K with the Petsmart Santa Paws in a rubber 5x7 Christmas frame. It's proudly displayed on the bookshelf now because it cracks me up. Because I'm a trusting American, I tried to introduce Kanye to the other pups in line to meet St. Nick. And do you know what the lab-mix owner in front of me told me? "You may want to keep him away from my dog. He's not used to small dogs and he really might bite him." WTH?!? Why doesn't he have a muzzle on?! WHY IS HE AT PETSMART?!?? I was super annoyed with him until the most precious little 9 year old girl with Down Syndrome started ooo-ing and ahhh-ing over K and I remembered what Christmas is about. She was SO CUTE and gentle and I just wanted to give Kanye to her! Then I was in the spirit so I tried to get a 4 year old in line to pet him but he just started crying and buried his face in his mom's butt. Can't win 'em all.

3. I need to get in shape before I go back to the gym. Anyone feel me on this? I just want to get over that really sweaty first stage of working out. When you lose like 5 pounds a week of just bloat and grease and self-loathing. And it's not all just narcissism. I had a trainer take interest in me a while back and set me up a workout program and diet plan (fo free!) It was super nice of him and a really thorough, effective program. And after 8 weeks of seeing really great results, I just... gave up. Quit going cold turkey. Chose whiskey and Mexican food over health and now here I sit, back at my top weight, pants uncomfortable, pissed. I can't go back to the gym and face him like this. Damn you, happy relationship weight!

4. So D and I have been discussing skipping town next Novermber. Skipping country. Using our Thanksgiving holiday break for an international adventure getaway. My stipulations were that I didn't want to go back to Europe and I wanted somewhere that spoke English... that pretty much leaves Australia/New Zealand, but luckily D was on board. I just don't want to put off traveling until we're old. So, while it's financially possible, before kids, I want to plan a really fantastic trip each year. I know we won't look back on it and regret it. I want to book this one right this second... but I'm going to wait for it to go on sale, duh.

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Conference Room Crimes

Is there anything more frustrating than being trapped in a conference room with absolutely no control over the pace of the meeting? I do not think so. Neither does my sissy:

I was going to write about this when I saw the Always Sunny CharlieDayQuotes post because this is how I feel literally every time I'm in a classroom type setting of any kind. I describe the way I feel like this: I wish I could just roar. Like a lion. When someone is wasting my time, I get so internally strained that the only fitting way I could imagine expressing this emotion is with a lion's roar.

And it NEVER FAILS, in a classroom setting, there is that one person who has saved all of his witty comments, personal anecdotes, questions and theories to be shared with this captive audience and who seemingly has no concept of time. Like time stands still for this person. They are oblivious to the collective sigh that happens every his "well it's funny you mention that" interrupts the already agonizing nature of the captivity.

Like I said in the email to my sister, I know it's a generational thing. We're overstimulated so focusing on only one thing is difficult. We're used to instant gratification so methodical people wear on us and we're able to multitask and be productive ALL THE TIME so we find it disrespectful for someone to take up unnecessary amounts of our time. I'm not saying it's okay for us to be impatient, I'm just saying that's what I think. But please don't suggest I put my iPhone away for the day. I still love that little multitasking beast. 

I pinned this little "Stop the glorification of busy." affirmation a while back because I seriously need the reminder sometimes. The more I do, the more material I have for facebook or my blog, the more activities crammed in to my calendar, the better I feel. How backasswards is that?! An empty weekend on my calendar actually stresses me out. 

D can definitely attest to this. I won't go in to all the embarrassing times I've ended up crying on the guest room floor or overwhelmingly pissed due to feeling like I didn't have enough hours in the day to do everything I wanted/needed to do. It's a little personal demon of mine. 

But regardless of the actual unhealthy levels of impatient I personally can climb to, the point of this story is STILL that conference rooms/classrooms/any kind of captivity in which the pace is too slow sucks so hard. 

And stop sharing your nuggets of wisdom. 

Also, did you have your eyes close and your fingers in your ears when we reviewed the agenda? We are only on the first agenda item and you're trying to solve world peace? Look at the clock. Do the math. You are ruining this meeting. I hate you.

And on an unrelated note, also stop your little sidebar conversations. That's disrespectful. We're all bored but you don't see us all ignoring the instructor and whispering with our buddy. Did your mother raise you in a BARN!?!?

End rant.

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5 Things

Things I'm currently obsessed with:

1. The Mindy Project/Mindy Kaling in general. What a helluva role model for me in my 20s! I want to be just like her in every way. Confident, funny, super super smart, perfect skin! If I could die and come back as a weird combination of her and Michelle Obama and Ellen Degeneres and also have Rosie Huntington-Whitely's legs (hey, we're dreaming here), I'd be so successful I'd probably rule the world.

2. Twitter. I just got in to it recently. #yeahso2009 I've only tweeted like 3 times? Mostly just by selecting "share with twitter" on my instagram photos... but I love reading tweets! Do yourself a favor and follow @JimGaffigan, @IMKristenBell, @TaviTulle, @KeeganMKey, @JordanPeele, @KendallJenner, @KylieJenner (what? they're adorable and post lots of pics), @Mindykaling (duh), @RebelWilson, and @WhitneyCummings. Seriously, if I got a RT from one of these people, I'd take the day off to celebrate (except Kendall & Kylie, they're kind of RT whores but I'd still be super psyched). I guess you have to tweet to get RT'd though, huh?

3. Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition on Lifetime. The season finale was this Tuesday so don't read on if you haven't watched it yet (because I'm sure it's just sitting in so many Tivo queues out there). Brianna won and she totally deserved it. What a class act little girl! Dancers are such beautiful versions of badass athletes and child dancers blow my mind. D HATED Robin Antin as a judge and Hadley's mom was terrible but these girls are SO talented and controlled and fierce. Anyway, OnDemand it. New Season of Dance Moms starts January 1st! Happy 2013 to me!

4.I feel as though these Angel Tree bicycles are a conspiracy to keep me away from that candy bowl full of baby Twix and Snickers on the table with the framed photo of Santa. I've never resented needy children more in my life.

5. The date night I'm planning for D tomorrow night! I haven't given him the url for this blog yet so I think it's safe to post about it on here and not ruin the surprise. Below you will find the note I'm going to leave on the driver's seat of his work truck tomorrow morning before I leave laying out our date night.

May I explain two things:
1. He recently heard Barry Manilow on NPR on his way to work and apparently he was really funny and nice and a good sport and so D decided he loved Barry Manilow and was disappointed that he didn't really know any of his songs except Copacabana. So, while out shopping Tuesday, I bought him Barry Manilow's new Christmas Album so he'd know the songs!
2. Jorge's is a mid-range local Mexican food place that D has decided is his new favorite. It's good, don't get me wrong, but he's really, really in to it. No complaints from this fatty, though. Sign me up for some quesadillas!

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Photo Friday; Tuesday Remix

Har Har Har - Chelsea Lately Facebook posted this and it said "no joke required, they wrote it for us"

I <3 Room Service

Also <3 hotel robes! Oh, I'm fancy, huh?

The ornament they gave us at our Christmas party that we decided was a silver medal for Kanye. That poor dog.

Channeling my inner Katniss... and also, I never knew I had that freckle on the back of my ear!

Like just noticed it while posting this. Had to take a verification picture (below)

Freckle proof. Also, you can see the Katniss pic on my screen in front of me haha

I know it it's a scam. You know it's a scam. I still get excited and really struggle with not clicking that link.

D and I tried out the one Thai place in Midland (totally tolerable, thank goodness!) and on their takeout menu, they welcome you with a big, Thai "Sawasdee Kha!" Uhmm, that sure sounds like swastika.

Made monogram tags for my mama's stockings at her house. Not bad for my first professional job.

Someone posted this on Facebook which spawned a frantic search for a pic of Kanye West that resembles my Kanye.

Eh? Eh? See it?

I saw a guy on the airport shuttle holding printed out MapQuest instructions and like... studying them. And I thought, "endangered species sighting!" and was attempting to snap a sneaky picture of him. I made sure the sound was off so it didn't make that "Ka-Ch" sound the iPhone makes but I did not verify the flash was off. So this is the photo of my phone stuffed in my purse trying to hide the flash of the not so sneaky picture.

$50 yoga mat is so stupid. But I want it. And I rarely do yoga anymore. But I WANT IT.

Anyone else take pictures of everything they want to remember in a magazine they're reading? I do. And I forgot this copy of Self in the hotel in Houston so I'm sure glad I do.

Clockwise from top left: Article on what each type of mascara wand does, this is the one I want // adorable blurb on Kristen Bell's #30DayHomie challenge I want to do... 6 months after it was cool // a pair of sweet JCrew slippers I was considering for a Christmas present then changed my mind // a good article on taking envy/jealousy and making it healthy instead of toxic // Neutrogena's new makeup I think I need.

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Longest recount of my weekend ever.

Sorry my blog is so long. :D <<-- note added after writing the below novel

This is a picture of my niece. She is perfect. That is all.

I kinda sorta started my weekend last Thursday, other than the fact that I had to present my water conservation project to our VP.

Okay, so, Thursday, I wasn't super duper nervous during my presentation, I knew my stuffs and was excited to present. However, after my presentation (which went really, really awesome, btw! *excited-girly-squeal*), I went to lunch with some out-of-house subject matter experts and riiiiight before we (me and one of the EHS Managers from Houston) walk in to the restaurant, he informs me "now, we don't have a non-disclosure with these guys so don't tell them too much."

Now, I have common sense, despite what my family may tell you. And I am a pretty responsible chicka. HOWEVER, something like this takes WISDOM. Something you can't learn! I had no idea what I was and wasn't allowed to say! So, I sit down with this pair of experts and every time they ask me a question, "so, Arica, tell me about your cooling towers..." I gulp and stammer and look at my manager and he has to answer the question and I look like an IDIOT! Something I am NOT a fan of. So, of course I start panicking. Like, REAL panicking. I was sweaty and nauseous and wanted just run out of the restaurant. Or cry. It was miserable.

I'm pretty sure this reaction was due to the residual espresso and adrenaline in my system from the big, bad presentation I just gave but whatever. It sucked so bad. I mean, once the convo turned casual, I was fine, but ugh. I got back to the office after and felt like I needed a nap. Exhausting.

THANKFULLY, my Mel and I had plans that night and it was SUPER fun. We went to a Young Professionals happy hour my company was throwing all because I was in town (not really but that's what I pretended) and I got to see almost ALL my Houston best frands and drink wine and it was stupendous! 

And then, my Mel and I went to the Winter Wonderettes after. So, so fun and adorable. We were belly-laughing and singing and clapping the whole time. Loved it. It's in a tiny venue at Stages Repertory Theater and we were a bit skeptical, but we and the other middle-aged patrons had a blast!

Then off for a slumber party at my hotel where Mel and I ordered room service and watched Elf on ABC Family. While waiting for our room service, Mel was laying in bed and my dear, dear Mel made a comment that was so funny, I almost peed. She said "well, for such a nice hotel, that's a really OLD microwave" Yall. She thought the safe on the shelf by the TV was a microwave.

I took this pic while Mel tried to figure out why I was laughing my butt off and taking a picture of the "microwave." 

She figured it out. "oh my God, that's a safe, huh!?"

Don't worry, you guys. She's really, really pretty. She's gonna be just fine in this rough world. :)

Mel got smoked salmon bagel and I got cheesecake and we took a picture because we're geeks.

Isn't room service so exciting? Yes, yes it is. So exciting Mel ninja kicked our tray when crawling in to bed with me to eat. Her "accouterments" went flying. She scooped most of it up while laugh-yelling "it's still goooooood!" but her capers didn't quite make it.

Poor capers. My cheesecake went unscathed.

This blog is making Mel sound like a bumbling idiot and I'd like to clarify that she is not. She was just on a roll Thursday night.

Friday, I spent the day at the airport getting delayeddelayeddelayed. I was freaking out, thinking I wouldn't make it in time to babysit PK, but I got on a flight on standby. Hooray. I think I did pretty ding dang dong good babysitting for my first time! I fed, burped, rocked, changed diaper, played... the whole gamut. I don't want one yet due to the fact that Kanye makes me want trap him under a laundry basket and take a nap sometimes... but if I have one, I want one like PK!

Worth every second of airport purgatory. I just snuggled her all night!

Then, D and I finished off a stuffed-crust pizza, went to bed and laid there awake discussing the fact that we were in bed on a Friday night at 10:30 and how, in the olden days, our night hadn't even STARTED at 10:30. Then we got sad and vowed to get our party back on ASAP after the holidays. We also recently vowed to lose all the happy relationship weight we've put on... so I'm not sure how well those two vows go together...

Saturday, we got up and took K for his first walk, showered and went out to Cashley's new house! It's tres beautiful. We spent all day out there and had a gay old time. 

D got to tow his jeep out there and "tool around" because they live in the middle of nowhere and he was over the moon. #redneckfun #75degreedecember

I surfed the back of the jeep once and then immediately insisted on spending the rest of the day inside drinking white wine. #DirtInYourTeeth.

Aren't animals incredible? Cashley's dog is super energetic and loves to wrestle with Casey on the floor so taking K out there, I was nervous he'd get crushed under Gunner's big paws but Gunner instinctively knew to be gentle with K and they played together all day without incident! And Ashley's parents' big Boxer did the same! It was so fun to watch them!

Molly and Kanye playing.

Gunner and Kanye playing.

Ashley's mom puppy-sat while we went in to town for dinner and margs and then we went back out and the boys played Halo 4 and Ashley and I snuggled up with the pups in bed and watched movies fell asleep. It was a perfect Saturday.

Sunday, I took Kanye for his SECOND walk, which didn't go as great. The excitement was over and toward the end, he would just sit down and refuse to follow me. I had to carry him home. Then he did this.

Takes after his daddy. Passed out in his North Face with the remote.

D and I had an IHOP date (our favorite type of date) and then did some Christmas shopping. Went home for a shopping intermission and Kanye had SO much energy we didn't have the heart to crate him again to finish our shopping so Nonna to the rescue. Dropped him off, finished up shopping guilt-free, picked up some thank you root beer floats for the dog sitters and then took our main man home and hung out until dinner with MikeMo and his preggers wifey. D and I ordered drinks before they got there and then had to drink them with our ashamed faces while MikeMo ordered water to show solidarity with his wifey. #badfriends.

Then home for some ohmygod Homeland!!! It was so so so good and I had my ears covered out of fear for almost all of it but it was still SO GOOD! Every episode, there's SO MUCH plot development that it feels like the season finale. But then they come back the next Sunday and do it all over again. Love.

Now back to work. Today is the first day of Secret Santa week! Wish me luck. It doesn't look like I'll need luck with MY Santa, though. Her first gift was tres cute and personalized! I'm glad we did the surveys because she was spot on!

Sbux GC and sock monkey squeaky for Kanye! 

She kinda started off with a bang. 

I try to start off with my lamest gift and then get cooler each day. Maybe she's working backwards...

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